Thursday, 15 January 2015

How to Stop Feeling Like a Piece of Shit


My dad sent me a link to a Reddit post where the original poster (OP) feels like he has no willpower and is doomed because of it. The link is really interesting because the top comment, by a user named Bombjoke, describes a simple method for incremental, willpower-building habits. Worth a read, especially if you are feeling willpower-light.

http://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1x99m6/im_a_piece_of_shit_no_more_games_no_more_lies_no/

I'm not going to grab index cards for this myself as I have a slightly different habit-building style, but here's the key elements, as I've found them:

  1. You win by starting with small goals. It's really easy to dream big, and tell yourself that you're going to transform over night into some kind of perfect eater, perfect exerciser, perfect worker, or whatever. But this almost always results in failure, because it's overly ambitious. Instead, think of the new behaviour as a plant. It starts as a tiny sprout, and with care and maintenance will grow.
  2. Be easy on yourself when you fail. It's really easy to get angry and frustrated when you miss your goal, but it's not useful. You will just create a negative emotion about the whole endeavour, which will make it more difficult to feel motivated. Instead, just gently get back on track. And, as Bombjoke points out, consider if a small change could help you.
  3. Enjoy it. It's easier to keep doing things that are fun. I developed the habit of drinking water instead of cola by enjoying the fresh, pleasant feeling of the water, like it is gently cleaning my throat and stomach. This pleasure-based habit is now so strong that I often prefer water to cola, as the former seems pleasant while the latter can easily feel cloying and over-sweet. Intelligently hedonistic habits have great staying power, because they feel good.
Anyway, that's enough lecturing from me. Bombjoke does a great job of explaining the process. Give it a read.

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