Sunday 28 December 2014
Check-In: 2014-12-27
Physical: PASS (yoga & diet, but candy and slightly late bedtime)
Willpower: WIN! (writing, meditation)
Emotional: FAIL (lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Day two in project Own the Night was a draw. I didn't get to bed at a good time, but I was able to pull out of the tailspin early enough to get a descent sleep.
I notice that I'm not getting a lot of emotional wins lately. Aside from Friday, I've mostly been feeling chipper enough, but I'm not really sure where to earn these. I think part of the problem is that I don't understand the category well enough. The only examples I know of are looking out a window or looking at internet kittens. I may have to look into that, and it may also represent an area where I could improve my efforts.
Social has also been awkward, what with me basically hanging out at home with just some email and text messaging for social contact. This is not a good situation for the long term. But New Year's will be much more social as I'll be visiting friends, my family will likely visit shortly afterwards, and then I'm back to Victoria for a writing retreat at a friend's house.
So I'm not too concerned about the social category at this point. It's just light for a little while.
Willpower: WIN! (writing, meditation)
Emotional: FAIL (lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Day two in project Own the Night was a draw. I didn't get to bed at a good time, but I was able to pull out of the tailspin early enough to get a descent sleep.
I notice that I'm not getting a lot of emotional wins lately. Aside from Friday, I've mostly been feeling chipper enough, but I'm not really sure where to earn these. I think part of the problem is that I don't understand the category well enough. The only examples I know of are looking out a window or looking at internet kittens. I may have to look into that, and it may also represent an area where I could improve my efforts.
Social has also been awkward, what with me basically hanging out at home with just some email and text messaging for social contact. This is not a good situation for the long term. But New Year's will be much more social as I'll be visiting friends, my family will likely visit shortly afterwards, and then I'm back to Victoria for a writing retreat at a friend's house.
So I'm not too concerned about the social category at this point. It's just light for a little while.
Jennifer Lawrence is Only Somewhat Relevant to This Radio Show
CBC's Sunday Edition, a radio show, had a segment today called 13 Fascinating things you probably didn't know about online journalism.
In today's increasingly social-media-based world, words and hyperlinks have largely replaced nunchaku and throwing stars as the weapons of a ninja. This makes the link above a kind of weapon-within-a-weapon, and worth studying.
And in the process, you'll hear something interesting about Jennifer Lawrence that won't be covered by the normal celebrity gossip sites.
Well worth a listen.
In today's increasingly social-media-based world, words and hyperlinks have largely replaced nunchaku and throwing stars as the weapons of a ninja. This makes the link above a kind of weapon-within-a-weapon, and worth studying.
And in the process, you'll hear something interesting about Jennifer Lawrence that won't be covered by the normal celebrity gossip sites.
Well worth a listen.
Saturday 27 December 2014
Yoga for Asthmatics
Starting in elementary school, I developed a sort of exercise-induced asthma thing. I don't think it's technically asthma, and I don't get attacks or need an inhaler, but when I stress my cardiovascular system, my lungs seize up and my airflow drops precipitously.
Yoga and kung fu have been my exercises of choice for this reason. Yoga emphasizes breath and exercise together, while kung fu is a form of exercise that allows for frequent breaks. Unlike, say, dragon boat racing, where taking a break mid-race would not go over well with the rest of the team (last year I offered to join a dragon boat team before realizing, oh yeah, that would kill me).
Lately I've been doing a lot of solo yoga, which I'm really starting to appreciate. As much as it's nice to have a teacher push you to work harder, once you're experienced enough to practice yoga on your own I strongly recommend it. You really learn to enjoy picking postures and movements that agree with what your body wants.
For my particular lungs, for example, I've recently cut out the Sun Salutation B's. For those of you who don't know yoga, these are a series of movements near the beginning of a class (at least, this is the case for ashtanga-influenced yoga) that seem specifically designed to get the lungs going by pushing the cardiovascular. For most people, this is a great warm-up to get the body ready for more strenuous work. For me, however, it just knocks the wind out of me and leaves me playing catch-up for the next several poses. I find that by skipping these sequences, I'm better able to manage my air supply, leading to a better overall workout. And the better your exercise feels, the more likely you are to do it again.
Everyone is different of course. This is just my experience with my particular lungs. Your mileage may vary.
Yoga and kung fu have been my exercises of choice for this reason. Yoga emphasizes breath and exercise together, while kung fu is a form of exercise that allows for frequent breaks. Unlike, say, dragon boat racing, where taking a break mid-race would not go over well with the rest of the team (last year I offered to join a dragon boat team before realizing, oh yeah, that would kill me).
Lately I've been doing a lot of solo yoga, which I'm really starting to appreciate. As much as it's nice to have a teacher push you to work harder, once you're experienced enough to practice yoga on your own I strongly recommend it. You really learn to enjoy picking postures and movements that agree with what your body wants.
For my particular lungs, for example, I've recently cut out the Sun Salutation B's. For those of you who don't know yoga, these are a series of movements near the beginning of a class (at least, this is the case for ashtanga-influenced yoga) that seem specifically designed to get the lungs going by pushing the cardiovascular. For most people, this is a great warm-up to get the body ready for more strenuous work. For me, however, it just knocks the wind out of me and leaves me playing catch-up for the next several poses. I find that by skipping these sequences, I'm better able to manage my air supply, leading to a better overall workout. And the better your exercise feels, the more likely you are to do it again.
Everyone is different of course. This is just my experience with my particular lungs. Your mileage may vary.
Check-In: 2014-12-26
Physical: PASS (sleep! and gentle exercise; diet)
Willpower: PASS (writing)
Emotional: FAIL (angst, lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Day one of project Own the Night is a success. I turned off the lights at midnight (I'd meant to do this at 11, but midnight is still respectable) and listened to music for a little while. Less than an hour later I was unconscious.
Today I'm already in a better mood and my body is far more interested in doing exercise, so sleep really does seem to be the key battleground for me right now.
Now I need to sustain this. I find it easy lapse after one or two nights of good sleep. Let's shoot for a week and see if I can maintain good sleep habits that long.
Willpower: PASS (writing)
Emotional: FAIL (angst, lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Day one of project Own the Night is a success. I turned off the lights at midnight (I'd meant to do this at 11, but midnight is still respectable) and listened to music for a little while. Less than an hour later I was unconscious.
Today I'm already in a better mood and my body is far more interested in doing exercise, so sleep really does seem to be the key battleground for me right now.
Now I need to sustain this. I find it easy lapse after one or two nights of good sleep. Let's shoot for a week and see if I can maintain good sleep habits that long.
Friday 26 December 2014
Ninjas Own the Night
For actual ninjas, owning the night is about blending with the darkness and mastering it as a weapon to commit acts of stealth and violence with impunity. In my case, it's about getting a good night's rest.
There are no end of health benefits to getting a good night's sleep. It boosts mood, motivation, cognitive ability, metabolism, healing, the immune system, and pretty much everything that a ninja needs to be effective.
For the last couple of days, I've been staying up late. I haven't really intended to it just... happens. But the result is that my mood suffers, I become less motivated, I think less clearly, and so on. I'm even feeling groggy just writing this post.
This has been a habit of mine for a long time. My whole life, really, and the fact that other people in my family often suffer from it suggests that there might be a familial link of some kind. But there's also a strong habitual component that seems to stem from a lack of fulfillment that I try to feed with music, videos, and video games.
Okay, that's kind of a bold thesis, so let's break it down a little.
On CBC radio's Q this morning, they interviewed novelist Lionel Shriver on a novel she wrote about eating disorders and obesity. In the interview, she asserted that binge eating isn't really about taste or the love of food, but rather some kind of desperate attempt to feed a longing that can't be solved with food.
This immediately struck me as the same feeling I have when browsing the internet when I should be going to bed. I feel like I need something, so I bounce between late-night snacks, internet TV, music, and news stories. And pardon the over-sharing, but if this blog is going to have any value, I need to avoid censoring myself, so: internet porn is a significant factor in this as well, and unfortunately relevant to the longings I'm trying to fill with electronic noise.
The two major emotional challenges I've been facing lately, as best I can tell, are a lack of fulfillment in my career and a complicated form of the standard "forever alone" syndrome that plagues so many nerds on the internet. Video games, providing the fantasy fulfillment of being powerful, accomplished, and socially important, somewhat feed the void left by my career. Internet porn obviously is meant to deal with the forever alone thing.
Both are poor substitutes, of course. While killing the Leviathan in Borderlands 2 and liberating a giant pile of treasure was a good rush of accomplishment at the time, it's just a video game, and the rush died pretty much as soon as I turned off the game. And the thing that internet porn watchers are really searching for (or so my inner armchair psychologist theorizes) isn't sex but intimacy. When the video ends, you're still just alone, sitting in front of a computer. The need for real intimacy, for human touch and socializing and validation, isn't fulfilled.
So the cycle continues. Watch another episode of Archer to laugh and feel good for a few seconds. Turn that off to play some Borderlands 2 for a little accomplishment buzz. Feel lonely after a while and hit the porn. By now the laughter buzz has worn off, so it's back to Archer.
None of this is gratifying or satisfying, so the loop sustains itself until pure exhaustion forces sleep.
And now we get into the real problem, because a lack of sleep reduces mood and drive, which means I'm not doing the things which could improve my satisfaction in my career, like practicing my writing or design skills. The forever alone thing is... more complicated... but it still couldn't hurt to be more rested and alert. In short, its hard to pursue ninja training with diligence when you're exhausted.
So the first real boss monster in my gamified quest to become a ninja has appeared, and it is a lack of sleep driven by unhealthy habit-loops.
So here's the strategy:
First of all, my battle with this monster will be recorded in the check-ins, as late bedtimes are a big hit to the Physical category. And while I doubt very many people will ever read these posts, the fact that I'm publishing the results of my battle makes me much more aware of it, which will hopefully help me think about and overcome it.
The other thing is I need a way to re-engineer my habit loops. I need to somehow turn these desires for accomplishment and intimacy into behaviors that make me go to sleep at a good hour. I've found some success by putting on music, turning off the lights, and turning off the computer monitors. This reduces light levels, which helps physiologically, and gets me away from the things that cause the endless cycles. I then find it easier to be self-aware enough to sense that I'm tired, which makes going to bed seem appealing.
With any luck, I'll resume getting good sleep and then have a lot more energy for pursuing my goals. Then I too will own the night.
There are no end of health benefits to getting a good night's sleep. It boosts mood, motivation, cognitive ability, metabolism, healing, the immune system, and pretty much everything that a ninja needs to be effective.
For the last couple of days, I've been staying up late. I haven't really intended to it just... happens. But the result is that my mood suffers, I become less motivated, I think less clearly, and so on. I'm even feeling groggy just writing this post.
This has been a habit of mine for a long time. My whole life, really, and the fact that other people in my family often suffer from it suggests that there might be a familial link of some kind. But there's also a strong habitual component that seems to stem from a lack of fulfillment that I try to feed with music, videos, and video games.
Okay, that's kind of a bold thesis, so let's break it down a little.
On CBC radio's Q this morning, they interviewed novelist Lionel Shriver on a novel she wrote about eating disorders and obesity. In the interview, she asserted that binge eating isn't really about taste or the love of food, but rather some kind of desperate attempt to feed a longing that can't be solved with food.
This immediately struck me as the same feeling I have when browsing the internet when I should be going to bed. I feel like I need something, so I bounce between late-night snacks, internet TV, music, and news stories. And pardon the over-sharing, but if this blog is going to have any value, I need to avoid censoring myself, so: internet porn is a significant factor in this as well, and unfortunately relevant to the longings I'm trying to fill with electronic noise.
The two major emotional challenges I've been facing lately, as best I can tell, are a lack of fulfillment in my career and a complicated form of the standard "forever alone" syndrome that plagues so many nerds on the internet. Video games, providing the fantasy fulfillment of being powerful, accomplished, and socially important, somewhat feed the void left by my career. Internet porn obviously is meant to deal with the forever alone thing.
Both are poor substitutes, of course. While killing the Leviathan in Borderlands 2 and liberating a giant pile of treasure was a good rush of accomplishment at the time, it's just a video game, and the rush died pretty much as soon as I turned off the game. And the thing that internet porn watchers are really searching for (or so my inner armchair psychologist theorizes) isn't sex but intimacy. When the video ends, you're still just alone, sitting in front of a computer. The need for real intimacy, for human touch and socializing and validation, isn't fulfilled.
So the cycle continues. Watch another episode of Archer to laugh and feel good for a few seconds. Turn that off to play some Borderlands 2 for a little accomplishment buzz. Feel lonely after a while and hit the porn. By now the laughter buzz has worn off, so it's back to Archer.
None of this is gratifying or satisfying, so the loop sustains itself until pure exhaustion forces sleep.
And now we get into the real problem, because a lack of sleep reduces mood and drive, which means I'm not doing the things which could improve my satisfaction in my career, like practicing my writing or design skills. The forever alone thing is... more complicated... but it still couldn't hurt to be more rested and alert. In short, its hard to pursue ninja training with diligence when you're exhausted.
So the first real boss monster in my gamified quest to become a ninja has appeared, and it is a lack of sleep driven by unhealthy habit-loops.
So here's the strategy:
First of all, my battle with this monster will be recorded in the check-ins, as late bedtimes are a big hit to the Physical category. And while I doubt very many people will ever read these posts, the fact that I'm publishing the results of my battle makes me much more aware of it, which will hopefully help me think about and overcome it.
The other thing is I need a way to re-engineer my habit loops. I need to somehow turn these desires for accomplishment and intimacy into behaviors that make me go to sleep at a good hour. I've found some success by putting on music, turning off the lights, and turning off the computer monitors. This reduces light levels, which helps physiologically, and gets me away from the things that cause the endless cycles. I then find it easier to be self-aware enough to sense that I'm tired, which makes going to bed seem appealing.
With any luck, I'll resume getting good sleep and then have a lot more energy for pursuing my goals. Then I too will own the night.
Check-In: 2014-12-25
Merry Christmas!
Physical: FAIL (mild exercise, good diet, late bedtime)
Willpower: WIN! (writing)
Emotional: FAIL (nothing bad, just a lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Yet again, a late bedtime was an issue. That's two nights in a row, and I'm feeling pretty groggy and unmotivated as a result. I'm going to try to keep this cause-effect relationship in mind tonight. Hopefully that'll help me get to bed and boost my quality of life tomorrow.
Physical: FAIL (mild exercise, good diet, late bedtime)
Willpower: WIN! (writing)
Emotional: FAIL (nothing bad, just a lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Yet again, a late bedtime was an issue. That's two nights in a row, and I'm feeling pretty groggy and unmotivated as a result. I'm going to try to keep this cause-effect relationship in mind tonight. Hopefully that'll help me get to bed and boost my quality of life tomorrow.
Check-In: 2014-12-24
Physical: PASS (yoga and walking, but late bedtime)
Willpower: WIN! (writing)
Emotional: PASS (sunshine and river valley view)
Social: PASS (email)
I'm removing the "Overall" category from the check-ins. I don't know how useful it is, and I'm finding it challenging to come up with good adjectives.
The big lesson for the 24th (to be repeated on the 25th) is getting to bed at a good time. I think I'll give into that more in a Thought.
Willpower: WIN! (writing)
Emotional: PASS (sunshine and river valley view)
Social: PASS (email)
I'm removing the "Overall" category from the check-ins. I don't know how useful it is, and I'm finding it challenging to come up with good adjectives.
The big lesson for the 24th (to be repeated on the 25th) is getting to bed at a good time. I think I'll give into that more in a Thought.
Thursday 25 December 2014
Thanking the Masters
Every time we enter or leave the studio at Kung Fu, and at the start and end of every class, we bow to an altar that bears on it the image of a our Grand Master's grandfather, who instructed him.
At first, I found that this was just a quaint ritual, an artifact of the martial art's Chinese heritage. But the more I went to class, the more I began to appreciate the vast knowledge of the Grand Master and the instructors, the more I began to appreciate this simple gesture.
For generations, even for centuries, some of the smartest and most dedicated people in China practiced and taught and thought about kung fu. They generously passed their understanding down to successive generations of students, who in turn became masters. Each generation built upon the last, creating more and more sophisticated, insightful, and efficient techniques and training. Eventually, some of those students came to Canada, and generously taught me.
I owe almost every bit of my kung fu knowledge to the intelligence, hard work, and generosity of ancient masters. When I bow to the altar, I now am bowing with sincere respect to those masters. Training in kung fu has helped me to understand why some cultures worship their ancestors.
But this is not limited to kung fu. Virtually everything I know about mathematics is due to the intelligence, hard work, and generosity of present and ancient mathematicians who passed their knowledge on. All of human knowledge, from technology to art to language to philosophy, is due to ideas built on and passed down through generations.
I ought to bow to the city of Edmonton out my window. I ought to bow to this computer. I ought to bow to my underwear, even, given how much technology and knowledge went into each of these things (in case you're laughing about the underwear, they contain plastic, which means the entire history of chemistry and the entire engineering knowledge of the petrochemical industry is necessary to create them--not to mention modern assembly lines, the cotton, the weaving, the elastic in the waistband, the distribution channels to a store near to me, or the financial industries which funded and organized all of this).
I feel like there's been a resurgence of an informal social Darwinism amongst some elements of the middle class. These are people who feel that, through their own virtues, they have succeeded, and that anyone who hasn't succeeded simply lacks virtues.
This attitude is insightful and, ironically, unintelligent. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to see the ways in which you (if you consider yourself successful) depended on the kindness and training of others, be it parents, extended family, friends, books, or internet research. Or, if you consider yourself not successful, I'm sure you can easily imagine how it could have been useful to have better models and training for how to manage the immense challenge of living a good life.
Tim Minchin says all of this in a far more entertaining way in his graduation speech, which is well worth the watch.
I also recommend the TV show, Connections, by James Burke. It's a little dated, but still very insightful, and will change the way you think about technology.
It's a lot to think about when performing a simple bow at the start of a kung fu class.
For generations, even for centuries, some of the smartest and most dedicated people in China practiced and taught and thought about kung fu. They generously passed their understanding down to successive generations of students, who in turn became masters. Each generation built upon the last, creating more and more sophisticated, insightful, and efficient techniques and training. Eventually, some of those students came to Canada, and generously taught me.
I owe almost every bit of my kung fu knowledge to the intelligence, hard work, and generosity of ancient masters. When I bow to the altar, I now am bowing with sincere respect to those masters. Training in kung fu has helped me to understand why some cultures worship their ancestors.
But this is not limited to kung fu. Virtually everything I know about mathematics is due to the intelligence, hard work, and generosity of present and ancient mathematicians who passed their knowledge on. All of human knowledge, from technology to art to language to philosophy, is due to ideas built on and passed down through generations.
I ought to bow to the city of Edmonton out my window. I ought to bow to this computer. I ought to bow to my underwear, even, given how much technology and knowledge went into each of these things (in case you're laughing about the underwear, they contain plastic, which means the entire history of chemistry and the entire engineering knowledge of the petrochemical industry is necessary to create them--not to mention modern assembly lines, the cotton, the weaving, the elastic in the waistband, the distribution channels to a store near to me, or the financial industries which funded and organized all of this).
I feel like there's been a resurgence of an informal social Darwinism amongst some elements of the middle class. These are people who feel that, through their own virtues, they have succeeded, and that anyone who hasn't succeeded simply lacks virtues.
This attitude is insightful and, ironically, unintelligent. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to see the ways in which you (if you consider yourself successful) depended on the kindness and training of others, be it parents, extended family, friends, books, or internet research. Or, if you consider yourself not successful, I'm sure you can easily imagine how it could have been useful to have better models and training for how to manage the immense challenge of living a good life.
Tim Minchin says all of this in a far more entertaining way in his graduation speech, which is well worth the watch.
I also recommend the TV show, Connections, by James Burke. It's a little dated, but still very insightful, and will change the way you think about technology.
It's a lot to think about when performing a simple bow at the start of a kung fu class.
Wednesday 24 December 2014
Check-In: 2014-12-23
Physical: FAIL (lack of exercise)
Willpower: TOTAL WIN! (writing)
Emotional: PASS (fantasy meditation)
Social: PASS (visiting family)
Overall: A FINE DAY
Another day of too little exercise. Especially in the afternoon and evening, when I decided to go on a writing binge, and spent many hours at the computer without a lot of movement, which is about the equivalent of smoking a pack of cigarettes. I need to find a way to get some postural changes and stretching without disrupting a good writing binge. This will be an interesting logistical problem, though it could be as simple as setting a timer, or just taking short breaks.
On the plus side, I had a writing binge. One of the biggest things I want to accomplish as part of my ninja training is to get good at writing frequently (I will work on writing well once the words are flowing).
So despite the physical failure, I'm happy with how yesterday went.
Willpower: TOTAL WIN! (writing)
Emotional: PASS (fantasy meditation)
Social: PASS (visiting family)
Overall: A FINE DAY
Another day of too little exercise. Especially in the afternoon and evening, when I decided to go on a writing binge, and spent many hours at the computer without a lot of movement, which is about the equivalent of smoking a pack of cigarettes. I need to find a way to get some postural changes and stretching without disrupting a good writing binge. This will be an interesting logistical problem, though it could be as simple as setting a timer, or just taking short breaks.
On the plus side, I had a writing binge. One of the biggest things I want to accomplish as part of my ninja training is to get good at writing frequently (I will work on writing well once the words are flowing).
So despite the physical failure, I'm happy with how yesterday went.
The First Failure
Today I just wrote up my check-in for 2014-12-22, and in it I logged my first failure under the physical category.
I thought for a while about trying to come up with a different word for it. "Failure" is so harsh, when all I'm really trying to flag is that I should have gotten more exercise--or rather, that if I'd gotten more exercise, I would have enjoyed my day a little more.
But to paraphrase Willy Wiggle-Stick, what value is there in changing the word? Would a failure, by any other name, feel less shameful? Maybe I could call it an "area for improvement", but everything is an area for improvement. Nothing we do is perfect. Also, inside I'd know that "area for improvement" really just means "failure".
So let's call a katana a sword. It was a failure. And the way I deal with that failure is by having a mature and sensible relationship with failure--not something I've traditionally been good at. Normally, I view failure as something to be ashamed of.
But recently, I've seen the power of failure. I've seen design teams who used failure as a construction tool: by testing and iterating on different designs, they incrementally improved until they created an award-winning product. I've started to incorporate failure in to my writing; by accepting that my first draft will very likely suck, I find it easier to write that crappy first draft, which is a necessary step in improving it until it becomes better writing.
Even writing this blog, I'm accepting the fact that many of my posts are too wordy, not funny enough, and lacking in accurate and properly sourced data.
So I'm actually feeling pretty good about this fail rating. Because I knew that I needed to get more exercise, I made a point of doing yoga this morning. And it felt good. And anything that makes life a little more fun is worth doing.
So bring on the fail.
I thought for a while about trying to come up with a different word for it. "Failure" is so harsh, when all I'm really trying to flag is that I should have gotten more exercise--or rather, that if I'd gotten more exercise, I would have enjoyed my day a little more.
But to paraphrase Willy Wiggle-Stick, what value is there in changing the word? Would a failure, by any other name, feel less shameful? Maybe I could call it an "area for improvement", but everything is an area for improvement. Nothing we do is perfect. Also, inside I'd know that "area for improvement" really just means "failure".
So let's call a katana a sword. It was a failure. And the way I deal with that failure is by having a mature and sensible relationship with failure--not something I've traditionally been good at. Normally, I view failure as something to be ashamed of.
But recently, I've seen the power of failure. I've seen design teams who used failure as a construction tool: by testing and iterating on different designs, they incrementally improved until they created an award-winning product. I've started to incorporate failure in to my writing; by accepting that my first draft will very likely suck, I find it easier to write that crappy first draft, which is a necessary step in improving it until it becomes better writing.
Even writing this blog, I'm accepting the fact that many of my posts are too wordy, not funny enough, and lacking in accurate and properly sourced data.
So I'm actually feeling pretty good about this fail rating. Because I knew that I needed to get more exercise, I made a point of doing yoga this morning. And it felt good. And anything that makes life a little more fun is worth doing.
So bring on the fail.
Check-In: 2014-12-22
Physical: FAIL (lack of exercise)
Willpower: PASS (reading about logical fallacies)
Emotional: PASS (beautiful scenery)
Social: WIN! (visiting friends and family)
Overall: A FINE DAY
I spent Monday at my parent's house. I did a little bit of "warming exercise", where I just move a little to feel blood moving in my fingers and toes rather than really spending effort, but I didn't do yoga or go for any walks. On the plus side, my parents have a nice view of forest and river out their front window, and I socialized a lot with both my parents and my friend Trevor (and briefly my uncle and aunt).
I don't feel guilty about the failures here. After all, it's Christmas and I was outside of my normal routine. On the other hand, I need to be honest about what areas need to be improved, and I could have done better with the physical.
Willpower: PASS (reading about logical fallacies)
Emotional: PASS (beautiful scenery)
Social: WIN! (visiting friends and family)
Overall: A FINE DAY
I spent Monday at my parent's house. I did a little bit of "warming exercise", where I just move a little to feel blood moving in my fingers and toes rather than really spending effort, but I didn't do yoga or go for any walks. On the plus side, my parents have a nice view of forest and river out their front window, and I socialized a lot with both my parents and my friend Trevor (and briefly my uncle and aunt).
I don't feel guilty about the failures here. After all, it's Christmas and I was outside of my normal routine. On the other hand, I need to be honest about what areas need to be improved, and I could have done better with the physical.
Monday 22 December 2014
Check-In: 2014-12-21
Physical: PASS (diet, rest day)
Willpower: PASS (waking up at a good time, staying on-task and on-schedule)
Emotional: PASS (visiting a tiny dog named Petri)
Social: WIN! (family Christmas party, giving gifts)
Sunday was the extended family Christmas party, so the day necessarily involved more in the way of travel, logistics, and socializing than the usual routine of exercise and meditation. On the other hand, I think it was good to have a physical rest day so I'm gonna let that be a pass.
At complete random, I decided to wear a suit to the party. I may have overdressed, but I think it only generated some good cheer, so that's good. And as Mom pointed out, it doesn't hurt to keep people guessing. I received a Batman mask as part of the gift exchange, so maybe next year I'll go dressed as Batman.
Willpower: PASS (waking up at a good time, staying on-task and on-schedule)
Emotional: PASS (visiting a tiny dog named Petri)
Social: WIN! (family Christmas party, giving gifts)
Sunday was the extended family Christmas party, so the day necessarily involved more in the way of travel, logistics, and socializing than the usual routine of exercise and meditation. On the other hand, I think it was good to have a physical rest day so I'm gonna let that be a pass.
At complete random, I decided to wear a suit to the party. I may have overdressed, but I think it only generated some good cheer, so that's good. And as Mom pointed out, it doesn't hurt to keep people guessing. I received a Batman mask as part of the gift exchange, so maybe next year I'll go dressed as Batman.
Sunday 21 December 2014
Why Are Ninjas So Emo?
The psychology of a ninja is supposed to be cold, calculating, and heartless. No emotion can be allowed to interfere with the mission. Emotions are for weaker creatures, like mortal men.
At least, that's my twelve-year-old self's understanding of ninja psychology, and it seems echoed in our modern perception of the businessman, the sports hero, or any other power-and-performance based public figure.
But as I get older it doesn't seem to add up. I've done enough physical training now to know that separating yourself from your feelings is not an effective way of staying engaged and focused.
Try looking up any exercise music mix on YouTube. Almost none of them will have music that is cool and dispassionate. Rather, they are all designed to pump your emotions up, stirring the fight or flight instinct and telling you to fight, dammit!
Motivational psychology also suggests that we perform best when driven by intrinsic goals. That is, someone who wants to do a good job will work harder than someone who will get paid for doing a good job. According to Daniel Pink in his book, Drive, paying someone to work hard can even reduce motivation.
What all this adds up to is that a real ninja cannot be separated from his or her emotions. Rather, those of us in pursuit of ninjaness must find a way to keep ourselves in an optimal emotional state for training and accomplishment, and that's not so simple as just having a grim face and trying not to feel anything.
So if this blog seems preoccupied, at least for now, with emotional balance, that's because emotional balance (that is, the Spirit element in the classic Mind, Body, Spirit model) is the most critical. The limitations of a broken body can be overcome by a strong spirit. Even difficulties of the mind can only be made better if your spirit is strong. But the healthiest body and mind will flounder if the spirit falters.
My spirit has been stumbling lately. But hopefully this blog will document a recovery of spirit and the physical and mental victories which result.
At least, that's my twelve-year-old self's understanding of ninja psychology, and it seems echoed in our modern perception of the businessman, the sports hero, or any other power-and-performance based public figure.
But as I get older it doesn't seem to add up. I've done enough physical training now to know that separating yourself from your feelings is not an effective way of staying engaged and focused.
Try looking up any exercise music mix on YouTube. Almost none of them will have music that is cool and dispassionate. Rather, they are all designed to pump your emotions up, stirring the fight or flight instinct and telling you to fight, dammit!
Motivational psychology also suggests that we perform best when driven by intrinsic goals. That is, someone who wants to do a good job will work harder than someone who will get paid for doing a good job. According to Daniel Pink in his book, Drive, paying someone to work hard can even reduce motivation.
What all this adds up to is that a real ninja cannot be separated from his or her emotions. Rather, those of us in pursuit of ninjaness must find a way to keep ourselves in an optimal emotional state for training and accomplishment, and that's not so simple as just having a grim face and trying not to feel anything.
So if this blog seems preoccupied, at least for now, with emotional balance, that's because emotional balance (that is, the Spirit element in the classic Mind, Body, Spirit model) is the most critical. The limitations of a broken body can be overcome by a strong spirit. Even difficulties of the mind can only be made better if your spirit is strong. But the healthiest body and mind will flounder if the spirit falters.
My spirit has been stumbling lately. But hopefully this blog will document a recovery of spirit and the physical and mental victories which result.
Check-In: 2014-12-20
Physical: PASS (yoga, but overeating)
Willpower: WIN! (meditation)
Emotional: PASS (cute animal pictures)
Social: WIN! (visiting friends, giving gifts)
Overall: FINE DAY
The main mistake I made yesterday was I overate at supper. I have a tradition of going for Chinese food with my friends every Sunday evening, and we moved that to Saturday this weekend because of Christmas obligations. The food is excellent, which means I tend to overeat.
Just to be clear, because this can be a common philosophical error for people trying to get healthy: I'm not concerned about the overeating because I'm worried about my weight, though I wouldn't mind for that to drop a little bit. Rather, overeating makes me feel bloated and icky. It took several slowly-sipped cups of water and an hour or two of gentle exercise and relaxation to feel good again. Overeating drops my quality of life. I will try to keep that in mind next time I am tempted by tasty, tasty noodles--eat it, enjoy it, but take it easy so you can feel good all evening.
Emotionally I'm still a bit rocky. A deliberate exposure to cute animal gifs was a positive, but I'm still battling a lot of negative feelings and self-image. That'll take some time. I think getting the emotional category into "win" territory is going to be a long-term project. It might even be my primary goal, come to think of it.
Willpower: WIN! (meditation)
Emotional: PASS (cute animal pictures)
Social: WIN! (visiting friends, giving gifts)
Overall: FINE DAY
The main mistake I made yesterday was I overate at supper. I have a tradition of going for Chinese food with my friends every Sunday evening, and we moved that to Saturday this weekend because of Christmas obligations. The food is excellent, which means I tend to overeat.
Just to be clear, because this can be a common philosophical error for people trying to get healthy: I'm not concerned about the overeating because I'm worried about my weight, though I wouldn't mind for that to drop a little bit. Rather, overeating makes me feel bloated and icky. It took several slowly-sipped cups of water and an hour or two of gentle exercise and relaxation to feel good again. Overeating drops my quality of life. I will try to keep that in mind next time I am tempted by tasty, tasty noodles--eat it, enjoy it, but take it easy so you can feel good all evening.
Emotionally I'm still a bit rocky. A deliberate exposure to cute animal gifs was a positive, but I'm still battling a lot of negative feelings and self-image. That'll take some time. I think getting the emotional category into "win" territory is going to be a long-term project. It might even be my primary goal, come to think of it.
Saturday 20 December 2014
Shower Technique
I once got really good advice on how to shower. I know that sounds odd. How hard can it be to shower? All you need to do is get water on yourself and you've pretty much succeeded.
Yet this technique will help you feel energetic and refreshed when you get out. The trick is in the temperature.
Start the way you normally do. Find a good temperature, get in, get clean, and let that lovely heat steam up the bathroom. But when you're about to get out, instead of just hopping out and drying off, start lowering the temperature, just a little bit. It will feel incredibly refreshing, like a cool breeze on a hot summer's day. Get used to that and turn the temperature down a little more. Continue this trend until you feel comfortably energized, then hop out and continue your hygienic habits.
I don't entirely know why it works, but when has that ever stopped someone on the internet from spouting spurious assertions with confidence?
I think the cool water is telling your body to start up the engines again. That is, it triggers the heat-generating processes that make us warm-blooded and able to survive in places like Edmonton. This makes your body feel awake and, ironically, warm.
We also experience temperature through contrast. Room-temperature feels cool when leaving a sauna and warm when coming in from a snowy winter. By reducing your shower temperature in a pleasant way, you will likely find the room-temperature air to be more pleasant than if you step out when the water is still steaming.
It's just a little thing, but having a nice out-of-shower experience can be a nice add to your quality of living.
Check-In: 2014-12-19
Physical: PASS (yoga, walking)
Willpower: PASS (cleaning, meditation)
Emotional: FAIL
Social:WIN! (party, gave heartfelt compliment)
Overall: A FINE DAY
The weak point yesterday was definitely the emotional side. I mostly enjoyed the day but definitely had some low points in the early evening, and didn't take any actions to really address emotional resilience. Perhaps some viewing of internet kittens would have helped?
Willpower: PASS (cleaning, meditation)
Emotional: FAIL
Social:WIN! (party, gave heartfelt compliment)
Overall: A FINE DAY
The weak point yesterday was definitely the emotional side. I mostly enjoyed the day but definitely had some low points in the early evening, and didn't take any actions to really address emotional resilience. Perhaps some viewing of internet kittens would have helped?
Thursday 18 December 2014
Check-In: 2014-12-18
According to Jane McGonigal, there are four factors to good emotional resilience and a resulting long life. They are:
Note that the date format in the title is YYYY-MM-DD, my favorite format because it sorts files nicely.
Here goes.
I avoided overeating and my stomach felt comfortable after eating as a result. Two of my meals were 50% salad-based, and my desert for supper was a moderate dose of pineapple. I probably should have had a bit less chicken and a bit less dressing with supper, but compared to the burgers and fries I was eating a few weeks ago, this is a huge improvement.
My water consumption was pretty good, though I did get a bit dehydrated in the late afternoon and had to do a little catch-up. Now all I need is a good early bedtime.
I did a lot of cleaning today, or at least what a bachelor might consider a lot of cleaning. I vacuumed and mopped the floors and finished most of the unpacking from my trip. I even washed the dishes immediately after supper, which is a new thing for me.
On the other hand, I was feeling intensely frustrated and grumpy earlier, which took a bit of time, water, exercise, and meditation to finally bring around. So I'll give myself a pass.
- Physical - Diet, fitness, sleep, hydration, etc.
- Willpower - The ability to focus your mind and concentrate.
- Emotional - Happiness and fulfillment vs. depression and stress.
- Social - Contact with other human beings; can even be accomplished through meditation such as gratitude meditation.
Note that the date format in the title is YYYY-MM-DD, my favorite format because it sorts files nicely.
Here goes.
Physical: TOTAL WIN!
I walked several blocks to the grocery store and back. I did some spontaneous movement exercises (I'll cover those in a later post), as well as some kung fu stance work and some miscellaneous yoga poses. I also did a little bit of spontaneous dancing, as described under the Emotional category. Right now, my body feels happily warm from movement and exercise and I feel a good deal of body awareness too. Overall, this was only a lightly active day, but it was an active day.
I avoided overeating and my stomach felt comfortable after eating as a result. Two of my meals were 50% salad-based, and my desert for supper was a moderate dose of pineapple. I probably should have had a bit less chicken and a bit less dressing with supper, but compared to the burgers and fries I was eating a few weeks ago, this is a huge improvement.
My water consumption was pretty good, though I did get a bit dehydrated in the late afternoon and had to do a little catch-up. Now all I need is a good early bedtime.
Willpower: WIN!
I did several forms of meditation today, such as the spontaneous movement exercises, a traditional mind-clearing meditation, and even a "fantasy meditation" where I wrote up any wild and fantastic desire that came to mind as a self-discovery exercise. This is based on a "miracle question" exercise that I discussed with my friend Karen, where you simply give your imagination an endless supply of miracles and see what it comes up with.
I did a lot of cleaning today, or at least what a bachelor might consider a lot of cleaning. I vacuumed and mopped the floors and finished most of the unpacking from my trip. I even washed the dishes immediately after supper, which is a new thing for me.
Emotional: PASS
I did get to visit a cat today (the mighty Zug-Zug), which is worth a decent emotional pass. I also found an internet radio station on Google Music called Fluke and I've been half-dancing to it on and off for a couple of hours now. The fantasy meditation should also count for some emotional boost.
On the other hand, I was feeling intensely frustrated and grumpy earlier, which took a bit of time, water, exercise, and meditation to finally bring around. So I'll give myself a pass.
Social: PASS
When I went to the grocery store today, I was accompanied by my friend Jason, so I did get some socializing done. However, I haven't done any of the truly juicy social-wins like expressing gratitude, and I spent a good deal of the day on my own. So I'll give the social requirement a pass, but it could be improved to push it in to the win category.
Summary: GOOD DAY
I had a good day. All my check-ins are at pass or better. Let's see if I can sustain this through Christmas and into the long term.
Victoria: Remember What Ninja Feels Like
I recently returned from visiting my friend Mark on Vancouver Island. This was intended as a wonderful escape from Edmonton winter (temperatures above freezing, even when there is rain and wind, are not winter), a chance to get away from stress at work, and a chance to visit my friend in his new digs, which I haven't seen since he moved out there.
What happened, though, was a rekindling of my interest in the pursuit of ninja-ness, something that I had lost recently. Over the past year, I've been exercising less, I've been feeling trapped in my career, and generally lost a lot of my joy of living. It's hard to train as a ninja when you aren't sure what you want out of life and are starting to feel like you won't ever get what you want out of life. It got to the point that I didn't want to go in to work at all any more. I finally realized that this was no longer an emotional lull, but a real problem that needed to be addressed.
Step one was to trigger my vacation and sabbatical time earlier than I had initially planned--I am fortunate to have such things available to me. Step two was to get out of my groove for a while, lest it become a rut, so I booked a flight as soon as was feasible.
It turned out to be exactly the medicine I needed. My stay consisted of frequent walks (multiple per day) out in the pleasant spruce-and-sea-scented air of Victoria, accompanied by my friend, his girlfriend, and their dog. I played a lot of Wii Fit on the Wii U. I ate healthy food in balanced amounts.
Even after a single day, I found my body was awake and craving exercise for the first time in months. I'd forgotten how amazing that feeling of wanting to exercise can be.
The dog was a huge emotional boost as well. Luna is happy, well adjusted, and well behaved. As my friend pointed out, staring into a dog's eyes can reduce your cortisol levels, which basically means that puppy-dog eyes reduce stress (assuming that the dog is happy and not trying to kill you).
Go ahead and try it with this adorable image of Luna. Stare into those eyes and feel your stress levels dropping.
I hope to get more into the kinds of training that help pursue a state a ninja in later posts. But here are the basics, as Mark and Luna reminded me this past week:
What happened, though, was a rekindling of my interest in the pursuit of ninja-ness, something that I had lost recently. Over the past year, I've been exercising less, I've been feeling trapped in my career, and generally lost a lot of my joy of living. It's hard to train as a ninja when you aren't sure what you want out of life and are starting to feel like you won't ever get what you want out of life. It got to the point that I didn't want to go in to work at all any more. I finally realized that this was no longer an emotional lull, but a real problem that needed to be addressed.
Step one was to trigger my vacation and sabbatical time earlier than I had initially planned--I am fortunate to have such things available to me. Step two was to get out of my groove for a while, lest it become a rut, so I booked a flight as soon as was feasible.
It turned out to be exactly the medicine I needed. My stay consisted of frequent walks (multiple per day) out in the pleasant spruce-and-sea-scented air of Victoria, accompanied by my friend, his girlfriend, and their dog. I played a lot of Wii Fit on the Wii U. I ate healthy food in balanced amounts.
Even after a single day, I found my body was awake and craving exercise for the first time in months. I'd forgotten how amazing that feeling of wanting to exercise can be.
The dog was a huge emotional boost as well. Luna is happy, well adjusted, and well behaved. As my friend pointed out, staring into a dog's eyes can reduce your cortisol levels, which basically means that puppy-dog eyes reduce stress (assuming that the dog is happy and not trying to kill you).
Go ahead and try it with this adorable image of Luna. Stare into those eyes and feel your stress levels dropping.
The lovely Luna, aka. El Beasto, aka. The Beastie. Also my friend Mark's feet.
I hope to get more into the kinds of training that help pursue a state a ninja in later posts. But here are the basics, as Mark and Luna reminded me this past week:
- Physical health is key. Eat healthy food and eat it in moderation. Drink a good amount of water. Get to sleep at a good time each night. Get plenty of exercise and fresh air.
- As your physical health improves, your spirit will strengthen. This will manifest as confidence, good humor, and patience. Most of all, you will start to see challenge as something fun to be engaged with, rather than as something exhausting to be avoided.
- Be patient. You should start to feel better almost immediately, but becoming a ninja is a long process. Don't panic if things aren't perfect after just one week of ninja training.
What Kind of Ninja is a Not Quite Ninja?
There are many theories about the true origins of the word "ninja", a profession so steeped in history and mythology that discerning the true facts is nigh impossible. Sorting ninja reality from ninja fiction would be a journey of magic, mystery, and murder that would inspire the imagination and educate as well as scintillate.
None of which is going to happen on this blog, as I don't plan on using the word "ninja" correctly at all. Instead, I'm using it to tap into one of my deep, irrational, childhood fantasies: of one day becoming a ninja, a masked warrior with superhuman skills and a penchant for justice!
Of course, I'm not twelve any more, but triple that. That doesn't mean the fantasy has gone away, but rather that it has gotten more complex. Justice is no longer as simple as stabbing bad people in the face, but rather seems to involve education and economics and infrastructure in order to create circumstances where people find it easier to be good. Being a warrior is less about swinging a sword and more about courage and peace in the face of adversity and violence, making people like Malala Yousafzai and Glen Canning seem like the true heroes of our age.
But I still wish I could backflip ten feet onto the top of a wall, and viewing the keen edge of a katana still makes my heart yearn in the way that only beautiful art can. The ninja remains some kind of paragon of self-perfection in my inner child's imagination.
So the kind of ninja I will be talking about on this blog is the one who has trained him or herself to a point of perfection. This may include physical training, mental education, and spiritual fortitude. There may be martial arts and acrobatics. There may be links to fascinating lectures and educational resources. There will certainly be some exploration of what it means to be such a ninja in the 21st century.
It's a simple definition, but one that should lead to an interesting journey.
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