True Callings

While the idea of a True Calling is romantic and unrealistic--I suspect the reality is that most people have many viable options for what they can do with their lives to live happily and well--I've been thinking a lot about what I really enjoy and what I'd really like to do.

The rational part of me figures that it would be silly to put all my eggs into the writing / game design basket, given that there's a high chance of it failing to pay and even if it does pay, it may take a while. This is where I've been doing a lot of thinking about kinesiology or other scientific studies.

On the other hand, my brain is media-centric. I write mini-plotlines all the time as drill, and when I get a good creative run for a couple of hours it feels like my entire day was wonderful. So I'm beginning to wonder if the urge to study something scientific is, at least in part, a fear reaction. That is, it's a way to avoid pursuing what I really want to do.

This is especially true if I do manage to find some part-time work that manages to pay the bills. Once my needs for staying alive are met, I'm free to do whatever I want with the rest of my time. That may still include some science for the joy of it, but I'm brimming with creative ideas that I'd like to pursue--invention is not going to be my problem. My only problems are going to be picking a handful of things to focus on and then following them through long enough to see if they pay off or not.

Over the past several months, I've been searching for that "attitude" that Hadfield described in his book. That is, the angle or trajectory you take through your life. If I want to do creative work--and it seems like I really do--then I need to angle my efforts to make that a reality. Taking care of practical needs like mortgage payments and food is certainly a part of any strategy, but I need to make sure that I keep working towards what I really enjoy.

Generally speaking, this doesn't affect my short term plans very much, at least not in terms of job hunts and school applications. It does affect what I plan to do with my time in the day-to-day, however. It seems wise for me to do something creative most days. The effect on my mood is just too large to ignore.