Check-In: 2015-01-29 (Thursday)

Physical: TOTAL WIN! (yoga, walking, diet, sleep)
Willpower: WIN! (scribbles to bits, reading, meditation)
Emotional: WIN! (walking in nature, dog, watching dance)
Social: WIN! (visiting with friends, watching dance)

Yesterday I went to a presentation by ODC Dance at the Royal Theatre in Victoria. I took Karen as a birthday present to her--Mark was also invited but declined. I suppose artsy dance is less his thing.

Karen and I quite enjoyed it. The dancers all had spectacular strength and body control, the choreography was pretty wild and emotive. Some of the artsiness was inaccessible to me but enjoyable nonetheless.

I'm counting the ODC Dance as both an emotional win and a social win, since it was entertainment but also a lot about human beings and communication.

I've been logging a lot of wins in a lot of categories lately, and my mood has been good. These things are likely related. I'm really tired today for some reason, but I think that was a calorie deficiency--after doing yoga yesterday, I think my burn rate is just really high and my breakfast wasn't big enough. I've had an early lunch to compensate and am starting to feel more alert. Might need to be a bit of a rest day today.

Zen Wisdom

This is an unfinished piece of dialogue from my notebook. It needs more work before proper publication (I don't even have a story in mind yet), but it's relevant to my recent thoughts. It also reminds me of a conversation I once had with my dad. It's taken a couple of decades for me to finally understand what he was getting at.

Past Self: Want to read some Zen Koans?

Future Self: No, thanks. I'm going to do the dishes.

Past Self: The dishes? Really? You'd rather perform some kind of plebeian chore, some mindless and unfulfilling drudgery, rather than employ your mind interpreting the sage wisdom of some of humanity's greatest minds?

Future Self: Well, we just ate, so the dishes are all dirty.

Past Self: Psst. Fine. Go scrub. I will remain here, and seek Enlightenment.

[Future Self leaves.]

Zen Reading:

A student approached a master and asked for words of wisdom.
"Have you eaten?" the master asked.
"Yes," the student replied.
"Then you should wash your bowl."
Hearing this, the student was enlightened.

[Past Self contemplates this for a moment.]

Past Self: I can't believe he's missing this just to do chores.

Check-In: 2015-01-28 (Wednesday)

Physical: TOTAL WIN! (walking, kung yoga, diet, sleep)
Willpower: TOTAL WIN! (cleaning)
Emotional: WIN! (walking in nature, dog, cleaning)
Social: PASS (visiting with friends, corresponding with family)

Yesterday was a profound victory of willpower--the result of all the practice I have been getting lately. And it's interesting how the simplest things can be the most powerful at times.

There's an old Zen Koan where the great revelation for the student, after having eaten, is that now he should wash his bowl. This is what I am now succeeding at: yesterday, I swept up the entryway where all the pine needles get into the house, and cleaned the kitchen. And most importantly, I enjoyed it. It was pleasant to turn my desire for a cleaner space into a cleaner space.

It was also infectious. My friend Mark was so happy to have a clean kitchen that he cooked up some great meatballs and, using them as one of the ingredients, made nachos for dinner.

Gaining willpower is really giving me a sense of possibility. If I have willpower, I can make anything I choose become reality. Recently I've begun to wonder if I should study science again. Maybe Earth and atmospheric science. Maybe nuclear physics. Maybe kinesiology. With a steady application of willpower, these are all very possible.

Check-In: 2015-01-27 (Tuesday)

Physical: TOTAL WIN! (walking, rest, diet, sleep, EDIT: dancing)
Willpower: WIN! (rest, communication, EDIT: dancing)
Emotional: WIN! (walking in nature, dog, EDIT: dancing)
Social: WIN! (visiting with friends, corresponding with friends and family, EDIT: dancing)

Tuesday was a rest day after the Vancouver trip. My head was so stuffed full of experiences that it took a full day to unwind. I still got a fair bit of walking done, and even a little bit of kung fu (kicking and balance), but I mostly just relaxed.

It's worth noting that I gave many of the categories a grade of "pass". This is a good grade. As much as wins and total wins are great, pass is still good. Pass still means that I am doing well, and should maintain a healthy spirit. That's the key. Win and total win are just gravy.

EDIT: Oh right, and dancing! Tuesday was my second jazz dance class, which adds a bit of victory to all of the categories. My point about the grades being "pass" still stands, though Tuesday is no longer an example.

The Vancouver Minute

Considering that I was in Vancouver for only a little more than 30 hours, this is going to be a long post. It's amazing how much you can pack into a short visit in a big city, though some of this story begins with the ferry.

I've never been on a ferry of this size before--at least not since I was about 2, which doesn't factor much into my memories. And I had a blast, mainly because of the Fog Deck (officially referred to as the Sun Deck). The Fog Deck is like being able to get outside of an aeroplane while still in flight so you can watch the ailerons during the landing. Also, instead of peering out of a tiny window at land miles beneath you, you can see the houses and rocks mere yards away.

 I never get bored of rocks covered in moss.

I met my mom's relatives, Eddie and Val, just outside the ferry terminal. They'd rented a car so they could show me the area, and we drove around Gastown (lots of lights and shops and hipsters), English Bay, and Stanley Park. They then dropped me at Science World for the afternoon, which was unfortunately overrun with children but still good for some reminiscing, and picked me up a couple hours later.

We then stopped at their apartment on Haro and walked up to Denman for dinner at a Japanese restaurant named Kingyo, where we had delicious prawns, tofu and pork, chicken karaage, sashimi salad, and hot sake. I then had to walk with some determination to meet my step goal for the day, so I marched along Denman and Beach in a loop.

This is where I ran into the first of the Strangers of Vancouver, which I'll cover in a bit. It's also where I took a picture of the sculpture at the top of this article. Normally I like to avoid flash on cameras, as it just bleaches everything (without sophisticated flash equipment, that is) but this time it really made the monument pop out of the darkness.

This hide-a-bed is lovingly referred to as The Tiltin' Hilton

This is the the view from where I slept. It's really something to roll over in the middle of the night, glance out the giant windows right next to you, and see the lagoon, Stanley park, and the lights of the Lion's Gate Bridge.

A glimpse of the UBC campus.

The next day Val drove me to UBC to ask about courses, though by this point I've become unsure about what I want to do, though in a good way: it feels like I can do anything, and being on a campus only enhances that feeling. I was pretty uncertain when I told the UBC advisor that I was investigating video game design programs. On the other hand, she directed me towards Simon Fraser's Interactive Art and Technology program, which has piqued my interest.

This of course meant visiting SFU in the middle of Surrey. Val had dropped me off so she could return the car and get work done, so I was on my own with no understanding of the transit at all, other than a suggestion that I probably wanted the 99 to get to the Sky Train. But I managed to find a drug store, buy a day pass, get on the 99, and get to the train, at which point I could basically get anywhere in the city.

I managed to reach SFU in time for their drop-in hours for general student counselling, but not during the hours for that specific program, so I now have some information on application requirements but not much on the program itself, alas. This convinced me that I needed more time to just research and plan, and that it was worth retreating to Victoria to do so. So I headed for the ferry again and managed to make the 7:00 pm back to Victoria.

A port near Tsawwassen. Put lights on anything and it'll be pretty in the dark.

Strangers of Vancouver

During my visit to Vancouver, a fair number of people struck up conversations with me. I don't know if this is normal in large cities, but it typically doesn't happen to me in Edmonton:

Drunk guy from Saskatoon on Denman Street: As I was doing my march to get steps, a random drunk guy said he thought I was someone he knew. He seemed baffled by the notion that I was just walking around the block. Then again, he had the glassy-eyed look of someone who'd had a lot to drink, so he was probably just stuck in baffled-mode.

New Grandma on the Sky Train: A woman sat next to me on the Sky Train and happily explained that she had just become a Grandma.

Kind Asian Woman on the Canada Line: On my way to the ferry, an Asian woman sat next to me. There was an abandoned coffee cup on the seat and she asked if it was mine--it wasn't, but I got rid of it anyway. I asked her about the Bridgeport stop and wondered if I'd make the 5:00 ferry. She thought it was likely. She was wrong, as it turned out, but it was still a pleasant sentiment.

English-Accented Woman Angry At Her Work: She sat next to me on the Canada Line after the Asian woman had left. Out of the blue, she asked me to verify if the text she was composing made sense, which apparently had to do with getting approval from her work to take a course. She was convinced she was being blocked for political reasons. I gave her some minor suggestions and she seemed happy(-ier).

It was fun to reminisce about past trips to Vancouver. I found my favourite exhibit at Science World: the cloud chamber, which shows streaks of condensation anywhere that high-energy particles hit it. Dad and I stared at it for ages last time I visited the place. It is now tucked in a corner, ignored by the public entirely except when I drew attention to it by staring at it. Even then, they didn't seem to care very much. I'm just fascinated by the idea of these particles of energy zipping through the world, everywhere, all the time.

The other fun memory, from the same trip where Dad and I stared at the cloud chamber, was that I was keen to ride the Sky Train just because I liked the idea of a... well, a train in the sky, dammit. Mom and I rode it to one end and back just for the experience of doing so. Hopefully she enjoyed it as much as I did.

There's plenty more I could cover about my overnight stay in Vancouver, from the discussions I had with Eddie and Val about how to live life, or the fingers-crossed tension of Val's daughter's job interview (it now sounds likely that she got it), but that would take more than a quick blog post, and this is already not a quick one. For now, I'm happy to just rest, walk the dog, and tidy up my belongings again--and to get ready for tonight: jazz dance class number two.

Check-In: 2015-01-24 (Saturday) to 2015-01-26 (Monday)

I'm rolling the last few days together, because after my trip to Vancouver I can barely remember what I did on Saturday, and Sunday and Monday just roll together into one big memory-ball.

Physical: TOTAL WIN! (walking, diet*, sleep)
Willpower: TOTAL WIN! (navigation, conversations with strangers)
Emotional: TOTAL WIN! (walking outdoors, sky-scraper views of Vancouver and bays, dog)
Social: TOTAL WIN! (visiting with relatives, visiting with friends, talking to strangers)

* Monday was not so good on the diet, given that I was grazing coffee shop sandwiches and fast food most of the day. Though I did at least eat fruit and yogurt for breakfast.

My overnight trip to Vancouver has given me the first across-the-board total win, so I have good reason for feeling groggy today, despite getting reasonably good sleep last night. Partly, my brain is still stuffed full of experiences, my willpower is drained from so much exercise, and my legs are tired from standing on transit for hours during a 20,000 step day.

Tonight is jazz dance class, but fortunately I don't find that to be a particularly intense physical workout, so I'm otherwise just gonna take it easy. I'm going to shoot for my step goal provided my feet are okay with it, but I'm not going to be particularly ambitious otherwise.

Proton Vacuum Pack

Mark has the coolest vacuum cleaner ever. That is all.

...well, I guess there is a little more to it: I really enjoyed doing the vacuuming. And not just because I spent the whole time making rocket noises with my mouth and pretending I was flying a jetpack, though that did help. But mostly it's because I'm learning to really enjoy cleaning. There's something satisfying about it that I've recently begun to cultivate.

Partly there is the sense of a job well-done. There's also an aesthetic sense to it, of course. Being able to look at a clean counter or a clean rug is pleasant. But most of all, I enjoy the sense of efficiency. The best part about a clean counter is that it's now easier to prepare food because of the clear space. The best part about a clean floor is that it's easier to exercise on because there isn't as much grit getting in the way (mainly pine needles). I like setting up recycling boxes so that it's easy and convenient to recycle, and so on.

Fundamentally, this is a low-IQ form of engineering (though people with high IQs can an do apply them to the same problems). That is, these are all little ways to make life easier and more efficient. The mental challenge and accomplishment I get from overcoming this problems is enjoyable.

To wax pretentious about it, cleaning is now a part of my meditations. It's a really simple, low-threshold-to-entry way of feeling good about my abilities, even if it's just doing the dishes.