Thursday, 25 January 2018

Sea Air and Hills


Looks like it has been a couple of weeks since my first update. Part of my failure to update the blog last week may be down to laziness, though in my defence I have also been recovering from bronchitis and writing my face off, so I've been a mixture of mildly unwell and highly productive with other things. These are not excuses, as I don't feel particularly guilty, but as reasons they are pretty good.

So first of all the bronchitis recovery. I'm pretty sure the disease itself is long gone, and it's just the process of clearing up my lungs now. This is going slowly but seems to still be headed in the right direction. My energy levels have improved noticeably this week. Yesterday I walked to the store and back, and was a lot less wiped than I was on the same trip a couple of weeks ago. Today I went on a fairly long walk with the dog and am doing pretty well. I'm still noticing the limited lung capacity, but those limits are less severe than they were.

As for the writing, I seem to be over 35,000 words in the last few months, which is a pretty good volume. These aren't perfectly edited words, but they aren't just rough draft either, so that's a healthy productivity. I have another short story I'm working on that I would *like* to get done by tonight, though I don't think it's going to happen. If I can finish it off by Saturday, I'd say that's still winning, since Thursday is a little earlier than I'd normally be shooting for.

I haven't been doing much in the way of job searches or self-enrichment, though at least Karen and I made it out to the Royal BC Museum to see the First Nations exhibit. It was really interesting, with a large section on language activism, an amazing display of argillite carvings, and a neat buried-hut display. I think this confirms for me that I'd like to learn one of the languages. I'll need to do some research into which one.

In silly news, I'm really enjoying the Overwatch League (OWL), which is Blizzard's attempt at making a popular eSport out of Overwatch. I don't know if it will be successful, but I'm amused at least. Though they have so many games on right now I don't think I have the hours in the day to watch it all. I'm currently rooting for the Philadelphia Fusion for no good reason other than the fact I really like Shadowburn's Genji play (his Pharah is also really good). Though I also like Boston Uprising because they're underdogs who did really well against the Seoul Dynasty, who are probably the best team in the league right now. I admire Seoul too, for that reason. Also they have spiffy black uniforms which look really cool. :)

Anyway, I'm sure most of you reading this don't know most of what I'm talking about. But it's a thing that entertains me.

I'll aim to have another update next Thursday, provided I'm not nose-deep in a story like I was last week. Cheers!

Thursday, 11 January 2018


Okay, it's not my best picture ever, but at this point I'm still getting settled and willing to live with slap-dash work. :)

Travel went well. There was little turbulence--just a bit as we descended through the rain clouds over Victoria--and my ears didn't suffer that badly. The plug in my left ear didn't quite do its job, and I was mildly deaf in that ear after landing, but the right ear was fine and both are feeling good today.

I went to bed at midnight local time, which is biologically 11:00 pm, and still slept in this morning. I guess I needed the rest.

My lungs are still mildly sensitive from the bronchitis, and I noticed them when walking around the block last night. So I'm resolved to take it easy with the exercise.

I've been here for less than 24 hours yet already have put several of those hours into writing, so I feel like this is going to be a productive trip. At least productive in terms of wordcount, if not salable wordcount.

Everyone here seems happy to see me. About halfway through the walk around the block, Luna suddenly got a great big grin and love-tackled my legs. I think it finally sank in for her that I was back. She's been demanding pets and tummy rubs all day today, and I have indulged her frequently.

It's raining outside, which counts as "bad weather" around here. To be fair, I've been staying in, but the sound of the rain on the roof is pleasant.

I don't know what kind of schedule I'm going to have with this blog, but I'll try to post at least semi-regularly, like once a week, maybe. We'll see. I'll be in touch. :)

Friday, 11 November 2016

Remembrance Day 2016


This Remembrance Day, Canada gathers to remember the fallen heroes who defended our country and our freedom.

Lest we forget.

Every media outlet agrees, blasting this message across wired, wireless, fibre optic, and myopic signals at full volume. And who wouldn't agree? Who would dare suggest that the soldiers of World War I weren't dying to defend the freedom of the West? Or that the people of World War II don't deserve to be praised for their sacrifice to defeat fascism?

And yet this message makes me uncomfortable, and merely suggesting that will probably anger many people before I even get the words out.

And that's the first part of the problem. This is a message that we dare not question. A blind belief.

The blindness allows us to ignore the ugly side of war, like the fact that in World War I the West were the same kind of selfish, imperialistic dirtbags that the Germans were. We didn't just abuse our fallen enemies with the Treaty of Versailles, we also mistreated our allies, dividing the Middle East like kids divvying up a candy bar, sewing seeds of conflict which continue to haunt us one hundred years later in Syria and Iraq. There are other causes for the strife in the Middle East, of course, and we'd be taking too much credit to say that it's all us, but the greed of the West has a big role.

The blindness allows us to ignore the bombing of Dresden, or the nuclear weapons deployed against Japan. These events could be argued as either necessary to shorten wars and ultimately save lives, or as monstrous acts of evil against civilian targets. We don't have to deal with that complexity if we just remember how heroic our soldiers were as we fire bombed and nuclear bombed children.

The blindness allows us to ignore the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, which have failed to curb terrorism, are largely responsible for the instability that allowed ISIS to come to power, and were probably motivated by the politics of oil and pipelines.

Lest we forget.

The message also puts war on a pedestal above healing. The technology and heroism of World War II were certainly striking, but the social progress afterwards was truly monumental. The entire globe developed the idea of human rights in a new light after discovering what happened in concentration camps in Germany. Even Nazi supporters were horrified and disgusted when they found out what their government had been doing. The world also had to deal with refugees on an unprecedented level. There were entire cities that had been flattened to the ground that needed to be rebuilt.

At home, soldiers returned and saw how blacks, indigenous people, and other minorities were being treated at home. Having seen what racism had wrought under the Nazis, many soldiers were forced to question the racism at home.

Much of our understanding of good, evil, compassion, equality, and civil rights was shaped by World War II. This is more important than who won the Battle of the Bulge or why, or how many jet fighters Germany had by the end. This was the dawn of a new kind of morality about human life.

Lest we forget.

The veterans--and the civilians who supported them--of World War I are now gone, and those of World War II have mostly passed away. While they were and are alive, they remember these lessons in a way that someone like me, born in the late seventies, can't possibly understand. As they pass on, we are faced with the first true memory test: will we remember not just the fact that they struggled, but why?

Lest we forget.

Many of the institutions that were built after World War II, like the United Nations, are now unpopular, despite the fact that world poverty and disease are at their lowest points of all human history.

This year has seen Britain vote to leave the European Union, supporting a campaign that was at least partially fuelled by racism. A campaigner on the Remain side was murdered in the street.

This year has seen Donald Trump, an anti-Semite and outspoken racist demagogue become president elect of the United States. He promises to build walls and deport minorities--a disturbingly familiar call to anyone who remembers the lessons of World War II.

Lest we forget.

Lest we forget? Lest we forget what? Lest we forget the soldiers who died?

Partially. Yes, our fallen are worthy of our respect and our thanks. They really did die so that the rest of us could live free. But there is so much more that we also need to remember: how those wars got started, what terrible toll they had, what we learned about human nature and ourselves, and why we need to make sure that events like World War I and II never, ever happen again.

When we cheer blindly about how all soldiers are heroes, these are the things that we forget.

Yet I believe that this is a momentary lapse.

The younger generations of voters--the oft-vilified millennials--voted to Remain in the European Union. They voted against Donald Trump, and are now in the streets in protest to indicate that they are not going to tolerate abusive policy without resistance.

Even the majority of The Donald's supporters don't like him. Hillary Clinton is the second most unpopular presidential candidate in modern history, outdone by Trump. Trump won despite being despised, and in fact lost the popular vote. He was elected as a protest against the present, not as a vision for the future.

So let's go back to World War II. Let's watch documentaries, read Wikipedia articles and books. Let's remember those lessons.

Let's deal with the troubles facing our beleaguered journalists, who are increasingly out of work, increasingly bullied on social media, and increasingly monitored by police forces.

Let's keep a wary eye on the rise of political bots on Twitter, fake news on Facebook, and the lies and demagoguery of some internet "news" sites.

Let's bring truth back journalism and politics.

Let's do these things lest we repeat the mistakes of the past. Lest we return to the barbarism of racism, slaughter, and neglect.

Lest we forget.

Saturday, 14 May 2016

It's My Last Weekend Being "Gainfully Unemployed"

I've had a lot of ways of spinning my year-and-half off of working. I've used the term "gainfully unemployed" to emphasize that I'm doing more with my time than just playing video games (though playing video games has been a significant component). I've used the term "self-financed sabbatical" to further press the idea that I am working on education and creativity during my time off. I've also used the term "convalescing" to remind myself that there is a strong element of healing, both physically and emotionally.

And as I reflect on my last weekend before starting my new job, I have this sense that all of these terms are accurate and true. The amount of good that this time off has done for my physical health is apparent in a 5 second glance at the mirror. The good it has done for my mental health can be discerned by a momentary reflection on my mood, which is generally relaxed and cheerful these days. The amount I have learned in the last year and a half is enormous. Then there's the experiences I gained from living in another city with wise and intelligent room mates and their wise and intelligent dog.

I'm a bit nervous about the new job, but that's to be expected. I also feel confident that I'm up to the challenge. I'm excited about the fact that it's a long but reasonable walk and close to the kung fu studio's new location, so it'll be easy to get lots of exercise while working a desk job.

I'm a little bit sad that I'll have less freedom. On the other hand, I will have to carefully consider how I use my free time in order to still be constructive with it without undermining the restorative necessity of it.

And it'll be nice to have a new desk to store some of my toys. In the game industry, it's not just possible to be an unapologetic nerd, it's an asset.

Should be a good time.

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

'Sup, Beamdog?

Just a quick bit of news:

I have accepted a job at Beamdog, a video game developer in Edmonton famous for updating old BioWare titles for modern consumption, especially on mobile devices.

I'll be heading in for my first day this Monday. :)

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Condolences, Fort McMurray

How soon is too soon? Then again, maybe the real problem is that it's getting to be too late.

What's happening in For McMurray is a tragedy. It's inspiring to see Alberta working together, spontaneously, to assist, to encourage, and to empathize.

It would be crass to use this moment for any kind of political manoeuvring, or to push any kind of agenda. But at the same time, this suffering is exactly what makes it so important that we talk about why this happened, and how we can prevent it from happening again, even if this topic is unpopular with many Albertans.

There have always been fires, of course, but fire fighters have stated that this one is especially destructive because of soaring temperatures and dry conditions. Increased temperature and reduced moisture are what models of climate change predict for our province. Without climate change, this fire likely would have occurred anyway, but it wouldn't have been able to spread so quickly or inflict so much harm. Climate change doesn't cause fires, but it does increase the chances that they will be bigger and more devastating.

Of course, we've seen economic disaster in the oilsands region this year as well, thanks to plunging oil prices, so many Albertans are afraid that if the world turns away from fossil fuels, we'll lose many livelihoods. But solar panels and wind farms don't install themselves; there will be many jobs implementing these solutions. It's just as possible to create jobs with renewables as it is with fossil fuels. And how useful is it to create jobs with fossil fuels, when those fossil fuels then destroy everything that so many people worked to acquire?

I hope this doesn't come across as opportunistic or partisan. This is just a plea to see this tragedy as something more than a stroke of bad luck: this is our future if we don't do something to change it, and the solutions are not only good for us environmentally, they're good for us economically. We can't turn off the oil and the pipelines tomorrow, but tomorrow we *can* invest in developing more solar, wind, carbon capture, and nuclear solutions that don't destroy the lives we're working so hard to create.

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Check-In: 2016-03-31 (Thursday)

Diet: fruit, moderate sugar
Exercise: walking
Sleep: a bit short, though wake-up time was reasonable
Mindfulness: need to do some meditation
Spirit: walking in sunshine, games, visiting with friends, corresponding with family

I am starting to get settled into life in Edmonton again, a process that was thrown off a bit by my getting sick within a few days of arrival. In particular, this disrupted my sleep, which I am once again struggling to deal with. My plan is to get out of bed consistently in the morning and train myself to get tired at night again. I'm only a couple days into the plan so I'm pretty tired today. Hopefully tonight I'll be able to implement a midnight lights out and get to sleep by one or two.

I could use some meditation time, too, a practice I have fallen out of. I will try to get some in this afternoon.

Otherwise I'm doing pretty well. Good to see friends and family again. I'm currently gathering up tax documents to get them out of the way and looking into getting my car insurance lowered since I'm not commuting right now.