Sunday, 28 December 2014
Check-In: 2014-12-27
Physical: PASS (yoga & diet, but candy and slightly late bedtime)
Willpower: WIN! (writing, meditation)
Emotional: FAIL (lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Day two in project Own the Night was a draw. I didn't get to bed at a good time, but I was able to pull out of the tailspin early enough to get a descent sleep.
I notice that I'm not getting a lot of emotional wins lately. Aside from Friday, I've mostly been feeling chipper enough, but I'm not really sure where to earn these. I think part of the problem is that I don't understand the category well enough. The only examples I know of are looking out a window or looking at internet kittens. I may have to look into that, and it may also represent an area where I could improve my efforts.
Social has also been awkward, what with me basically hanging out at home with just some email and text messaging for social contact. This is not a good situation for the long term. But New Year's will be much more social as I'll be visiting friends, my family will likely visit shortly afterwards, and then I'm back to Victoria for a writing retreat at a friend's house.
So I'm not too concerned about the social category at this point. It's just light for a little while.
Willpower: WIN! (writing, meditation)
Emotional: FAIL (lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Day two in project Own the Night was a draw. I didn't get to bed at a good time, but I was able to pull out of the tailspin early enough to get a descent sleep.
I notice that I'm not getting a lot of emotional wins lately. Aside from Friday, I've mostly been feeling chipper enough, but I'm not really sure where to earn these. I think part of the problem is that I don't understand the category well enough. The only examples I know of are looking out a window or looking at internet kittens. I may have to look into that, and it may also represent an area where I could improve my efforts.
Social has also been awkward, what with me basically hanging out at home with just some email and text messaging for social contact. This is not a good situation for the long term. But New Year's will be much more social as I'll be visiting friends, my family will likely visit shortly afterwards, and then I'm back to Victoria for a writing retreat at a friend's house.
So I'm not too concerned about the social category at this point. It's just light for a little while.
Jennifer Lawrence is Only Somewhat Relevant to This Radio Show
CBC's Sunday Edition, a radio show, had a segment today called 13 Fascinating things you probably didn't know about online journalism.
In today's increasingly social-media-based world, words and hyperlinks have largely replaced nunchaku and throwing stars as the weapons of a ninja. This makes the link above a kind of weapon-within-a-weapon, and worth studying.
And in the process, you'll hear something interesting about Jennifer Lawrence that won't be covered by the normal celebrity gossip sites.
Well worth a listen.
In today's increasingly social-media-based world, words and hyperlinks have largely replaced nunchaku and throwing stars as the weapons of a ninja. This makes the link above a kind of weapon-within-a-weapon, and worth studying.
And in the process, you'll hear something interesting about Jennifer Lawrence that won't be covered by the normal celebrity gossip sites.
Well worth a listen.
Saturday, 27 December 2014
Yoga for Asthmatics
Starting in elementary school, I developed a sort of exercise-induced asthma thing. I don't think it's technically asthma, and I don't get attacks or need an inhaler, but when I stress my cardiovascular system, my lungs seize up and my airflow drops precipitously.
Yoga and kung fu have been my exercises of choice for this reason. Yoga emphasizes breath and exercise together, while kung fu is a form of exercise that allows for frequent breaks. Unlike, say, dragon boat racing, where taking a break mid-race would not go over well with the rest of the team (last year I offered to join a dragon boat team before realizing, oh yeah, that would kill me).
Lately I've been doing a lot of solo yoga, which I'm really starting to appreciate. As much as it's nice to have a teacher push you to work harder, once you're experienced enough to practice yoga on your own I strongly recommend it. You really learn to enjoy picking postures and movements that agree with what your body wants.
For my particular lungs, for example, I've recently cut out the Sun Salutation B's. For those of you who don't know yoga, these are a series of movements near the beginning of a class (at least, this is the case for ashtanga-influenced yoga) that seem specifically designed to get the lungs going by pushing the cardiovascular. For most people, this is a great warm-up to get the body ready for more strenuous work. For me, however, it just knocks the wind out of me and leaves me playing catch-up for the next several poses. I find that by skipping these sequences, I'm better able to manage my air supply, leading to a better overall workout. And the better your exercise feels, the more likely you are to do it again.
Everyone is different of course. This is just my experience with my particular lungs. Your mileage may vary.
Yoga and kung fu have been my exercises of choice for this reason. Yoga emphasizes breath and exercise together, while kung fu is a form of exercise that allows for frequent breaks. Unlike, say, dragon boat racing, where taking a break mid-race would not go over well with the rest of the team (last year I offered to join a dragon boat team before realizing, oh yeah, that would kill me).
Lately I've been doing a lot of solo yoga, which I'm really starting to appreciate. As much as it's nice to have a teacher push you to work harder, once you're experienced enough to practice yoga on your own I strongly recommend it. You really learn to enjoy picking postures and movements that agree with what your body wants.
For my particular lungs, for example, I've recently cut out the Sun Salutation B's. For those of you who don't know yoga, these are a series of movements near the beginning of a class (at least, this is the case for ashtanga-influenced yoga) that seem specifically designed to get the lungs going by pushing the cardiovascular. For most people, this is a great warm-up to get the body ready for more strenuous work. For me, however, it just knocks the wind out of me and leaves me playing catch-up for the next several poses. I find that by skipping these sequences, I'm better able to manage my air supply, leading to a better overall workout. And the better your exercise feels, the more likely you are to do it again.
Everyone is different of course. This is just my experience with my particular lungs. Your mileage may vary.
Check-In: 2014-12-26
Physical: PASS (sleep! and gentle exercise; diet)
Willpower: PASS (writing)
Emotional: FAIL (angst, lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Day one of project Own the Night is a success. I turned off the lights at midnight (I'd meant to do this at 11, but midnight is still respectable) and listened to music for a little while. Less than an hour later I was unconscious.
Today I'm already in a better mood and my body is far more interested in doing exercise, so sleep really does seem to be the key battleground for me right now.
Now I need to sustain this. I find it easy lapse after one or two nights of good sleep. Let's shoot for a week and see if I can maintain good sleep habits that long.
Willpower: PASS (writing)
Emotional: FAIL (angst, lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Day one of project Own the Night is a success. I turned off the lights at midnight (I'd meant to do this at 11, but midnight is still respectable) and listened to music for a little while. Less than an hour later I was unconscious.
Today I'm already in a better mood and my body is far more interested in doing exercise, so sleep really does seem to be the key battleground for me right now.
Now I need to sustain this. I find it easy lapse after one or two nights of good sleep. Let's shoot for a week and see if I can maintain good sleep habits that long.
Friday, 26 December 2014
Ninjas Own the Night
For actual ninjas, owning the night is about blending with the darkness and mastering it as a weapon to commit acts of stealth and violence with impunity. In my case, it's about getting a good night's rest.
There are no end of health benefits to getting a good night's sleep. It boosts mood, motivation, cognitive ability, metabolism, healing, the immune system, and pretty much everything that a ninja needs to be effective.
For the last couple of days, I've been staying up late. I haven't really intended to it just... happens. But the result is that my mood suffers, I become less motivated, I think less clearly, and so on. I'm even feeling groggy just writing this post.
This has been a habit of mine for a long time. My whole life, really, and the fact that other people in my family often suffer from it suggests that there might be a familial link of some kind. But there's also a strong habitual component that seems to stem from a lack of fulfillment that I try to feed with music, videos, and video games.
Okay, that's kind of a bold thesis, so let's break it down a little.
On CBC radio's Q this morning, they interviewed novelist Lionel Shriver on a novel she wrote about eating disorders and obesity. In the interview, she asserted that binge eating isn't really about taste or the love of food, but rather some kind of desperate attempt to feed a longing that can't be solved with food.
This immediately struck me as the same feeling I have when browsing the internet when I should be going to bed. I feel like I need something, so I bounce between late-night snacks, internet TV, music, and news stories. And pardon the over-sharing, but if this blog is going to have any value, I need to avoid censoring myself, so: internet porn is a significant factor in this as well, and unfortunately relevant to the longings I'm trying to fill with electronic noise.
The two major emotional challenges I've been facing lately, as best I can tell, are a lack of fulfillment in my career and a complicated form of the standard "forever alone" syndrome that plagues so many nerds on the internet. Video games, providing the fantasy fulfillment of being powerful, accomplished, and socially important, somewhat feed the void left by my career. Internet porn obviously is meant to deal with the forever alone thing.
Both are poor substitutes, of course. While killing the Leviathan in Borderlands 2 and liberating a giant pile of treasure was a good rush of accomplishment at the time, it's just a video game, and the rush died pretty much as soon as I turned off the game. And the thing that internet porn watchers are really searching for (or so my inner armchair psychologist theorizes) isn't sex but intimacy. When the video ends, you're still just alone, sitting in front of a computer. The need for real intimacy, for human touch and socializing and validation, isn't fulfilled.
So the cycle continues. Watch another episode of Archer to laugh and feel good for a few seconds. Turn that off to play some Borderlands 2 for a little accomplishment buzz. Feel lonely after a while and hit the porn. By now the laughter buzz has worn off, so it's back to Archer.
None of this is gratifying or satisfying, so the loop sustains itself until pure exhaustion forces sleep.
And now we get into the real problem, because a lack of sleep reduces mood and drive, which means I'm not doing the things which could improve my satisfaction in my career, like practicing my writing or design skills. The forever alone thing is... more complicated... but it still couldn't hurt to be more rested and alert. In short, its hard to pursue ninja training with diligence when you're exhausted.
So the first real boss monster in my gamified quest to become a ninja has appeared, and it is a lack of sleep driven by unhealthy habit-loops.
So here's the strategy:
First of all, my battle with this monster will be recorded in the check-ins, as late bedtimes are a big hit to the Physical category. And while I doubt very many people will ever read these posts, the fact that I'm publishing the results of my battle makes me much more aware of it, which will hopefully help me think about and overcome it.
The other thing is I need a way to re-engineer my habit loops. I need to somehow turn these desires for accomplishment and intimacy into behaviors that make me go to sleep at a good hour. I've found some success by putting on music, turning off the lights, and turning off the computer monitors. This reduces light levels, which helps physiologically, and gets me away from the things that cause the endless cycles. I then find it easier to be self-aware enough to sense that I'm tired, which makes going to bed seem appealing.
With any luck, I'll resume getting good sleep and then have a lot more energy for pursuing my goals. Then I too will own the night.
There are no end of health benefits to getting a good night's sleep. It boosts mood, motivation, cognitive ability, metabolism, healing, the immune system, and pretty much everything that a ninja needs to be effective.
For the last couple of days, I've been staying up late. I haven't really intended to it just... happens. But the result is that my mood suffers, I become less motivated, I think less clearly, and so on. I'm even feeling groggy just writing this post.
This has been a habit of mine for a long time. My whole life, really, and the fact that other people in my family often suffer from it suggests that there might be a familial link of some kind. But there's also a strong habitual component that seems to stem from a lack of fulfillment that I try to feed with music, videos, and video games.
Okay, that's kind of a bold thesis, so let's break it down a little.
On CBC radio's Q this morning, they interviewed novelist Lionel Shriver on a novel she wrote about eating disorders and obesity. In the interview, she asserted that binge eating isn't really about taste or the love of food, but rather some kind of desperate attempt to feed a longing that can't be solved with food.
This immediately struck me as the same feeling I have when browsing the internet when I should be going to bed. I feel like I need something, so I bounce between late-night snacks, internet TV, music, and news stories. And pardon the over-sharing, but if this blog is going to have any value, I need to avoid censoring myself, so: internet porn is a significant factor in this as well, and unfortunately relevant to the longings I'm trying to fill with electronic noise.
The two major emotional challenges I've been facing lately, as best I can tell, are a lack of fulfillment in my career and a complicated form of the standard "forever alone" syndrome that plagues so many nerds on the internet. Video games, providing the fantasy fulfillment of being powerful, accomplished, and socially important, somewhat feed the void left by my career. Internet porn obviously is meant to deal with the forever alone thing.
Both are poor substitutes, of course. While killing the Leviathan in Borderlands 2 and liberating a giant pile of treasure was a good rush of accomplishment at the time, it's just a video game, and the rush died pretty much as soon as I turned off the game. And the thing that internet porn watchers are really searching for (or so my inner armchair psychologist theorizes) isn't sex but intimacy. When the video ends, you're still just alone, sitting in front of a computer. The need for real intimacy, for human touch and socializing and validation, isn't fulfilled.
So the cycle continues. Watch another episode of Archer to laugh and feel good for a few seconds. Turn that off to play some Borderlands 2 for a little accomplishment buzz. Feel lonely after a while and hit the porn. By now the laughter buzz has worn off, so it's back to Archer.
None of this is gratifying or satisfying, so the loop sustains itself until pure exhaustion forces sleep.
And now we get into the real problem, because a lack of sleep reduces mood and drive, which means I'm not doing the things which could improve my satisfaction in my career, like practicing my writing or design skills. The forever alone thing is... more complicated... but it still couldn't hurt to be more rested and alert. In short, its hard to pursue ninja training with diligence when you're exhausted.
So the first real boss monster in my gamified quest to become a ninja has appeared, and it is a lack of sleep driven by unhealthy habit-loops.
So here's the strategy:
First of all, my battle with this monster will be recorded in the check-ins, as late bedtimes are a big hit to the Physical category. And while I doubt very many people will ever read these posts, the fact that I'm publishing the results of my battle makes me much more aware of it, which will hopefully help me think about and overcome it.
The other thing is I need a way to re-engineer my habit loops. I need to somehow turn these desires for accomplishment and intimacy into behaviors that make me go to sleep at a good hour. I've found some success by putting on music, turning off the lights, and turning off the computer monitors. This reduces light levels, which helps physiologically, and gets me away from the things that cause the endless cycles. I then find it easier to be self-aware enough to sense that I'm tired, which makes going to bed seem appealing.
With any luck, I'll resume getting good sleep and then have a lot more energy for pursuing my goals. Then I too will own the night.
Check-In: 2014-12-25
Merry Christmas!
Physical: FAIL (mild exercise, good diet, late bedtime)
Willpower: WIN! (writing)
Emotional: FAIL (nothing bad, just a lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Yet again, a late bedtime was an issue. That's two nights in a row, and I'm feeling pretty groggy and unmotivated as a result. I'm going to try to keep this cause-effect relationship in mind tonight. Hopefully that'll help me get to bed and boost my quality of life tomorrow.
Physical: FAIL (mild exercise, good diet, late bedtime)
Willpower: WIN! (writing)
Emotional: FAIL (nothing bad, just a lack of wins)
Social: PASS (email)
Yet again, a late bedtime was an issue. That's two nights in a row, and I'm feeling pretty groggy and unmotivated as a result. I'm going to try to keep this cause-effect relationship in mind tonight. Hopefully that'll help me get to bed and boost my quality of life tomorrow.
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